reduced to a giggling schoolgirl

I swear. I'm a 9 year old around him. He reduces me to giggles and blushes. I absolutely adore him.

month long hiatus

ok so i took a month long break. so much has happened. so much has changed. started dating a very sweet guy. we'll call him Zim. i like pseudonyms. anyways. i'm falling head first. it feels nice, i definately never got a chance to feel this way with my most recent ex, dan, mainly cause the sex started before the dating. i think i like this way better, getting to know someone better and letting the feelings build up and build up. don't get me wrong, we all need some random sex once in awhile, and if it's not completely random, ie someone you do truly care about just aren't dating, then that's even better, if it works out. but this is just... sigh. happy face. i really feel like it's good and it's gonna be good for awhile. but i'm also an optimist.

i've been working more and more at the coffee shop, which is nice, got a little extra money to burn. i've been working about 10 hours a week at the jewlery store too. i'm debating taking my lappy when i go to work there, cause sometimes it gets boring and i'd like to do other stuff while i'm there... shhhh don't tell my boss! i doubt i'll ever get up the nerve to do it.

i'm trying to get into the toledo lucas county public library system. i want to work in a library again, it's my passion. i want to be a librarian. there are never any positions open to the public, unfortunately, so i have to volunteer first. then hope upon hope that one opens up that i can jump at. i have previous experience and if i get a job, i'm gonna keep it for a very long time, while i'm working on my bachelor's and then probably my master's too. keep your fingers crossed for me please!

lifestyles

joining lifestyles friday morning. going and working out before my shift on friday. this is going to kill but it will be oh so very worth it. i have goals. i have plans. i will make it work. ooo i just found they offer online nutrition stuff. and andrea is a member so i can get her to come with me too. godamnit this will happen. i will make this work. no ifs ands or buts. i'm going to look and feels great. ok, peptalk over. where's the cookies? jk

sisterhood 4

i am currently reading Forever in Blue: The Fourth Summer of the Sisterhood. the sisterhood of the traveling pants that is. i am doing so in my livingroom with my sliding door open and sunshining in and stuff like that. and the paragraph i just read,

"Too flustered to look at her canvas, she looked at him. Frying pan to fire. She looked down his body, down all the golden skin. Oh, my. She saw what was there. How could she not? It wasn't Ecuador. It was more Brazil."

made me laugh maniacally. i <3 coming of age tales.

life is sweet again

sinko de drinko

went out last night. to the Distillery, it was the SellOut Kings last show... parked my car and was walking away and turned around for some reason and realized the car i parked one car away from was bonds, i thought... so yeah that started the anxiety... cassie was on her way so i got a beer and waited for her. she got there and we fought our way to back bar... went to dance. and the spot she picked in the crowd was right next to him, though she did it inadvertently. i think he walked away, i felt bad, it wasn't on purpose, she just found an empty-ish spot... so then andrea said she was on her way so we waited by the door, again by him, again not on purpose... see where this story is going??? so we all did shots. mary got there. went and danced. she only stayed a lil bit. Cassie and I walked her home and came back. sat down for the rest of the night... came home to an IM from someone that wasn't on my buddy list... and it was bond. first contact in 2 weeks and what, 4 days... so i left him a voicemail. i almost wish i had texted him cause now i dont remember exactly what i said, though i know there's some silence in there... so we'll see what happens i guess...

thorn in my side

everyday i logon and reread my vow to myself. every freaking day. not that there is that much temptation to do it that often, but i need a reminder. like a thorn in my side. things got so out of whack in my life for awhile. someone wise who is no longer in my life said the most cliche thing but i dont think i had ever heard it before, "it's called making love for a reason"

so he hasn't talked to me for two weeks and still everyone who knows him said that it's not like him. oh well, something musta happened. i assume he's still alive, as none of his friends have said anything to the contrary. i want my book back. i told nemesis that and she said do you really need this book... no, but i want it... it was my cheer up book, which is why i gave it to bond in the first place, he needed a good laugh...

i probably should have thought of a better title, as i am no longer having sex and i'm trying to find a different job...

my solemn vow

I will not have sex again until I am in love.