my 3 days off work

i had the greatest 3 days ever. ever ever. and now it's coming to a close. pouty face.

speechless

wow. there are no words. none. none at all.

cogwheels take two

yep. cogwheels. i'v been thinking about my metaphor alot lately and i think, if tweaked, it would be a really nice piece of literature, something like that as the premise... i know alot of authors use the parallel stories technique and then bring them all together and stuff, but i think i really want to play with this...

i wonder if Bond reads this, if he remembers the web address...

rotating away

yeah, the previous post was definately true. i felt it and wrote it and it happened. we're going to just be friends. it's ok. i feel at peace. fate. it's all fate. there are things i can control, small things, which i definately let get away from me. i believe it's time to reevaluate. everything. i did like him, i liked him alot. he is a good guy. no question. but he said it's not there for him. and i respect and understand that. i have to reevaluate what i believe in. i dont know anymore. i feel like there is a big part of me missing, a big part of the world that i dont understand, and i want that understanding, i want that inner peace. i want to be ok with being by myself, i want to be ok with just staying at home, i want to be ok with waiting, for some reason i dont think i'm entirely ok with these things. i wasnt completely in control of my convictions and beliefs when i met him and thats why things escalated to the point they did so quickly. honestly i feel like i would have waited and put off more it would still have ended, though possibly not so fast. i was realistic though, i knew he was leaving in like two months. i need to become more in tune with what i want in life and how i want to go about achieving it. i look like i have things together on the outside, but sometimes inside i doubt myself. he brought up something in me. after i met him two boys started talking to me on a regular basis again, granted one is back with his ex, but i'm still talking to the other, Surrent, more often and i think it has to do with my confidence. granted it's a little down right this moment, but it'll be back up after i write enough. i think i'm done with this one...

gears.

do you ever feel like you met someone at the wrong part of their life and yours? like your life and his life are two giant cogs, rotating next to each other, for that instant, however brief, they come together and fit perfectly. then they part and are alone once more. and then you feel naked, without his beside yours, because your grooves and his grooves fit together so beautifully. and you hope and wish upon a star that the rotation of both of your cogwheels is not a constant so that the time where you are apart goes much faster than the time you previously spent together. and then, when they come together once more, time slows almost to a complete standstill so you can have infinitely more time together...

me myself and i

went to the gym today, or as Surrent so adorably puts it the "jim"... was on elliptical for only 30 min. gotta ease back into it, dont wanta over do it the first time, etc. then I weighed myself. OMG every scale that i have been on for the past I have NO idea has been lying... I'm quite the chubberific chica... so now, total lifestyle overhaul... damn living next door to a KFC, Wendy's, Burger King and Arby's... ffing sucks... and I'm sure the sweets at work don't help... working out again tomorrow tho, after work... blah

coffee

And now dear readers for some coffee... I'm at a coffee shop right now. My laptop's first trip outside since I bought her. Assholes making fun of me for tilting my head to the side when I type. Yep I'm a slave to the corporate coffee world. Oh well, we's all gotta make the money where we can. mmm Americano with sugar free caramel!

my agony

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

bandwagon

I've decided that since I have been told I have a propensity for the dramatic storytelling of my life that I shall jump on the proverbial bandwagon and have a sex blog. Or just a rant blog. Or whatever.